I need to lose weight, I need to get there. I want to be like those beautiful skinny girls in all those pictures. You all know what I mean.. It's just getting a little out of hand with me atm :/ I've stopped caring about anything else but this. After dinner I go purge even though my parents are upstairs and I could easily get caught. Losing weight is all I have to live for anymore. I've lost interest in other people or don't just know how to act around them.. I want to get in control! I want to be in that perfect weight so I can open my eyes and let some life back in if you know what I mean. But then again when I've been so deeply in this for so long, is it even possible for me to live again? to wake up from this continuous nightmare..
Love u
S
oh sweetie, I know exactly what you mean. A year ago today I was at my sickest. I hated eating, I hated myself. Nothing mattered as long as I didn't eat. I did horrible things to get out of meals. I was always lying about what I ate.
ReplyDeleteI thought that I would never wake up. It took an extreme loss and a couple suicide attempts for me to even realize that I wanted to get out of it.
Keep going, keep trying. Please don't go too far, you deserve so much more than this. I understand the need to lose weight. I have that need and it constantly screams at me. I wish that I could just give you a hug right now. <3
You just made my day by commenting<3 only when ppl comment here I feel like someone cares. I don't know what I deserve but I need to know what it's like to look in the mirror and like what I'm seeing :) I still have a long way to go.. I wish I could hug you too<3 How are things with you atm?(=
DeleteYou are right. You do deserve that, whether its through weight loss or recovery you deserve to like how you look and sweetie, you really should.
ReplyDeleteThings with me are lonely to be honest. Between doing school online and losing everyone in my life that I trusted its weird. :/
I'm lonely too :( even when I'm surrounded with ppl.. I feel like i've lost everything I had any hope in in my life. Losing weight is the one thing that still keeps me going. Why do you do school online if I may ask? and stay strong<3(=
DeleteI'm sorry sweetie... I do school online because I skipped senior year and am doing part time college online this year.
ReplyDeleteoh okay :)
DeleteThank you :) I went to check your site out on explorer and had no problems so I can't tell you what's wrong with it :/ I have never gotten any complaints about my blog not operating correctly and I've used blogger for years. You could always switch to blogger instead if it really bothers you and just guide your readers to the new blog :) Too bad I'm not so great with computers and couldn't really help you but I hope you get it fixed :)
ReplyDelete