now I only have one goal. Losing weight. I've given up on what I want and my dreams and now I feel like I've done everything. Except being skinny enough!
I had sex with the guy I liked for a long time and we had a serious talk afterwards. He doesn't wanna be in a relationship with anyone at the moment and that's okay. At last now I know. I can't really even understand what happened like I get these flashes but it doesn't feel real. Just to mention I was drunk when it happened... Things are a bit awkward between us at school if you can imagine. I didn't want that to happen I still wanna be his friend. How do I always mess things up? This is ripping the final part off of me. Now all I have left is this shell of a human that I reluctantly live in, and my goal weight. If I have to live for other ppl I'm not gonna quit. My stomach hurts and I'm constantly shaking, It's tiring. Most of you obviously know that. stay strong you are all important<3
And after all, I'm smiling.
S
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