I'm so isolated right now.. 48,4 this morning :) I'm loving my sleep, that's the best part of my life seriously.. I hate this! I overthink all the time and when I start typing and trying to explain some of it- Nothing comes out? Frustrating =( Soo I threw up my breakfast(all of it wouldn't come up) and the three cups of coffee I dank after that I just couldn't handle it and I just ate like a bowl of salad. I'm keeping that in though but I'm scared of dinner-time ahead. I don't wanna throw up anymore today it just makes me sick, haha. Guess I'm just gonna flush it down the toilet, yeah, thanks a lot for dinner mom, the one you went to work for today... I feel so guilty I just wanna cry cause none of this is worth it anymore. I have to get away from here one way or another, but I still have another year to go in upper secondary school.. (btw am I supposed to put -'s between all the words in upper secondary school?) Stupid me, point proven.
Really I just wanna know. Will I ever be even close to normal again or is it gonna be this bullshit for the rest of my fucking life?! I'm so angry and at the same time I don't know what I am, so what the hell? Will people ever really care about me or are they gonna just use me and can I seriously keep dreaming about a better life when I'm not even living this one..
I'm so lost and far away.. No one to catch me and I keep falling so hard I've gone through the floor a million times already so where am I? All I know is that there's nobody else here..
S
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