Satellites, Close Your Eyes

 

I can feel my heart beating, that must mean I'm alive.. I guess, but i'm completely oblivious of everything around me so that's kinda shady :/ I love being on holiday but at the same time I know that when the school starts I'm going to have to adjust once again.. It's just draining. I haven't taken much of anything for a while, drugs I mean, and actually I don't have aything to say about that either.. I'm thinking so hard but can't come up with anything at all, maybe cause I don't remember. I have no idea of what I did yesterday, not to mention any other day before that.. Guess my head doesn't want to waste any energy to remembering stuff. I'm starting to think that all my energy goes to maintaining myself somehow, but I wouldn't call myself a human. I just am here.. Wish I wasn't though. Once again someone I knew died around here and it's just so unfair that people like me who don't even want to live keep living and then some people get snatched just like that, from their sleep!!! It's a sick world. THERE IS NO GOD PEOPLE!! who the hell believes in that shitit's such a scam. We don't get eny more trouble than we can handle? Then why do so many people commit suicide?! Or is dying actually not too much for people to handle, or for their loved ones to handle? Happy fucking new year, that is gonna be at least as crappy as this one! Peace out, damn I'm pissed right now.... Anyways I love all of you and you know that cause I keep saying that every time post :D Well, for a person that doesn't hear that too often, I feel like I can't say it too much to you :)

 

 

 

 

 

You know, all I can make out of this year in my head is letting X finally out of my life..

As well as I know it was the right thing to do, it feels like a raw, open wound. And just like this, I'm crying.. No tears though but I am, believe me.

 

S