Right around this time last year, I graduated high school. However, what happened just a little bit before it could've ruined everything. Me and my childhood friend + our mothers went on a girls' trip to Estonia like we'd done a few times before and it was nice, me and my friend went out but didn't really even get drunk or anything we just celebrated her turning 18. The next morning we were in the boat terminal waiting to go back home and everything was fine until all of a sudden my eyes started rolling back in my head and I couldn't see. I saw flickering lights and then I was blinded, I didn't know what was happening to me. It was completely out of the blue and I didn't know how to react nor did I have time to figure it out because it resulted in a total blackout in a matter of about a minute. What I've been told is that I fell head first into the stone floor of the terminal and started spasming like I was having an epileptic seizure. That lasted about 3 minutes and because my head was split open, blood was everywhere. I was taken into the hospital by an ambulance and that's the point of when I'm starting to remember little bits and pieces, like how I stuck a needle in my finger because I wanted to do it yseld rather than have the paramedic do it :P Anyway, at the hospital they took some sort of an MRI of my head and soon enough they were stitching it without local anaesthesia. That hurt like a bitch to be honest and it was gross feeling the needle pierce my scalp to my skull. The worst part was still when they shaved my hair from the area, god I'm such a girl right? Thankfully the wound was in the back of my head so I didn't have a visible bald spot or anything but still, you guys understand.
Obviously after we got back home we went through that neurologist circus with all of the possible tests and the result was that the alpha waves in my brain had something sketchy about them but that's it. No neurological answer to why I had a seizure, but let's be fair, I know exactly why it happened. My body simply couldn't take the effects that my mental bullshit had on it anymore. I have to say I loved going to the neurologist though, he was the sweetest and at the same time the coolest old man I've ever met.
I often feel like I really want to start writing more on here again, but there's so much that's happened onto which everything that's currently happening is building on so everything would take a whole lot of explaining, or I could be totally mysterious and shit and just write everything that's on my mind even if it makes no sense to anyone else. I hope all of you reading this are doing well, this community has always had a place open for me and I carry the pain as well as the acceptance and sense of belonging with me. How does anyone ever recover from this when all of it is just so perfect?
No comments:
Post a Comment