50.0

 Only gained about one pound during this christmas shit, something to be happy about :) Though my throat is pretty much torn to shreds due to all that purging i had to do :/ Now it's healing cause the last few days i didn't have the oppertunity to puke. I promised some pictures so there are a few below. Now I weigh 50Kgs sharp and my god do I wanna binge.. I'm just waiting for my parents to go back to work so I can have that magical binging day after all this restriction (or trying to restrict from food). My hunnies how are you doing haven't heard any more from you that you've heard from me :( I miss you lovely ladies<3 Well anyway my christmas time is shitty as always but no biggie I'm surviving. I've actually managed to do some planning for the future and don't feel so hopeless all the time. I just need to get the hell out of this place. Did I already tell you I'm not dancing with X anymore? Our deal is off cause he couldn't make it to the lessons. Thank god I found someone else to dance with and he's great! Funny and polite + nice looking :) Don't get me wrong I mean I might be a bit into him but no way I'm looking for anything at the moment so I'm just glad to have such a nice dancing partner. I'm really tired of school but somehow i keep pushing myself.. I can't wait for it to end. I still have to see X around for one period next year. Certainly not looking forward to that :D That asshole really broke my heart.. Well it was already broken but he shattered it to a million pieces. Now I'm just tired and cruel. But maybe I'll get another chance and change as soon as I get out of this shit hole. It's weird how optimistic I'm feeling right now, but wait for it, it'll pass. Englishrose I love you, sorry I couldn't answer you comment on my crappy phone so I'll just announce that like this :) always and forever, sis<3ow I'm off, have a good christmas time everybody xx

 

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