Waterweight- that bitch!

 

Is this really it? I've achieved my goal weight, and I feel absolutely nothing at all, besides being EVEN MORE obsessed over not gaining any weight.. I'm so ingredibly sick, just today I've binged and purged 3 times and dinner's yet to come. I must be getting my periods soon. Allthough I don't think I'm actually gonna get them anymore cause the last time I was at 45 I stopped getting them. I wouldn't mind. I need to get out of this house again, thank god I have work tomorrow but damn do I feel so empty for first of all reaching my goal without working for it but being a totall fuck-up, and second of all for not having anything else to reach for but keeping this up and it's driving me nuts. I'm at that point again where I hop on the scale about 3 times a day and to check every little difference between purging and drinking water and all that stuff.. I guess this is what life has to offer for me and I'm going to be battling myself until the end for something that isn't even real- perfection.

 

 

 

 

 

 Pretty pretty feet with all those veins sticking out..

Never satisfied

S