Where am I going? I know we all try to get somewhere in our lives as fast as possible. We have to be something. Aren't we something already? What's the point of rushing forward when time goes so fast anyway, It's running out, through our fingers like sand.. I wanna stop here. I want to get off. I'm finding it so hard to find the point of doing anything. My allergies hit me too all of a sudden and they make me so tired.. Foodwise today has been a lot better than yesterday, which I'm not going to talk about so I don't get any more depressed and frustrated. You can imagine anyway. Today I weigh 46.9 and that's fine with me. Yesterday I actually saw that number there but I blew it. My number. 45... Right now I just want to stay like this but I want to live! I don't want to just stand here isolated and watch time go by and lose every opportunity I could just grab if I had the courage. Problem is, I don't know how living should be like, feel like. I don't feel the important things anymore, you know, the little things that make people happy. I've lost it. Oh and my mom apparently has a problem with me again since I hear her complaining about me to my dad. She can never talk to me if she's not happy about something, she wants my dad to do it. I don't like my dad. I don't really like my mom either. I don't like anyone, the least of all myself.
My love to you xx
S
no one truly knows where they are going if we did it would mean we have a choice and be able to determine our own fate all we need to do is survive in the here and now and be ready to experience whatever life offers us
ReplyDeletekeep strong
love you
xx
Love you too<3 Do you have a new blog or have you completely stopped? I wish I could read about your thoughts and stuff and I miss you
Deletexx
therearetwoofmenow.blogspot.com xx
Deletethank you honey I'm following xx
DeleteWhen my bf and I were fighting last bight he told me I'm trying to grow up too fast. I guess at 22 I feel like J needs to be somewhere further. Maybe not. As far as living, I've never felt more alive than when I went to Greece. Its strange to feel both in a year, the high and low.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean I love Greece too. The last few times we've been there on a family holiday I've seriously considered "disappearing" into thin air and just starting a life there, where I'm able to breathe.. I can only imagine how many sides there are when someone who has the same kinds of problems as I do is in a relationship, cause obviously there's the support and love, but the feeling that they will never understand :/ It's funny that I can't really even remember the high, because I've been here on the rock-bottom for a looong time.
Deletestay strong(=