13 followers still? I can't believe it you are definitely a patient group of people :) gee I should really update my laptop to a new one because the keyes don't work too well anymore so don't freak out if my writing doesn't make any sense :D Yesterday was surpricingly good and then again today was absolutely terrible. The whole morning went to crying whenever I saw myself in the mirror. However I had to go to school because it's the exam week.. Lately I've been a bit more social and that has brought my mood up quite a lot. At home things are really unstable and I never really know when it's all gonna blow up, but at the moment I'm kinda hopeful that I'll make it through upper secondary school and get out of this place for good. 2nd year is almost over after all so it's not that long anymore. Whole April my weight was between 47 and 48Kgs, now it's between 46 and 47 again. For tesummer I want to be in shape and try to stay at this weight, but if I get really unhappy with myself losing weight is probably the only way to make it a little better. I'll also try to spend more time with people, seriously.
It's been raining for two days now and it's actually a really good excuse to get some alone time and study, which I haven't been really succesfull at :D Anyway, I've been talking with my prom partner almost every day for a while now but I think I just wanna be friends. I don't think I'll ever be abla to be in a real relationship but at least atm I don't mind. X I don't ever even wanna hear anything about, he makes me sick. I don't hate him, I don't hate anybody, but thank god it's over. NEVER AGAIN. At least I really hope so. Falling for him again after everything that has happened would be the end of me for sure.
Alcohol has made me nausious a couple of times in a row and that's just weird.. I mean I don't get a hangover but it doesn't feel good. And good news is that I haven't taken any drugs for a while or even smoked, but binged and purged though.. I always do before I get my period and now I'm on them. But anyway my lovelies, I HAVE to get coffee and get some work done so I hope you all are doing well and I love you :)
S
Always following/reading :]
ReplyDeleteKeep well hon, love to you xx
Thank you so much for the support it means a lot :) xx
DeleteHi beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for awhile, and wanted to come comment (:
I'm from Finland too, I like to write in English. I'd love to have your body! I'm 153cm and 42 kg, and I look like crap!
Ceep strong hun! xx
http://proana-promia-mylifestyle.blogspot.fi/
Hi and thanks for commenting! :) It just feels more like there really are live people reading my blog when somebody leaves a comment every now and then(=
DeleteI went to see your blog and you look great you're really skinny but I know you don't think that way yourself :/
haha idk why but writing in english is just so much easier isn't it :D xx