A Bubble Made For One

Jesus.. Well hell I'm more like a buddhist now, not officially yet though, but trust me I'm so going to need the meditation to sort my head out. And even if that doesn't happen I might not explode on the people around me so much.. I really like the fact that Buddhism is actually not really a religion :) Anyway, I've been really caught up with EVERYTHING. This has been everything but a holiday for me and frankly I'm just waiting for school to start cause I wanna be done with it as fast as possible. I wanna be done with all of this, this crappy little town and these people. Me being the worst of all, don't get me wrong. I'm not sure how it's going to effect me seeing X again every day, for the first period, after that he goes back to the other school. I just hope that him being around doesn't mess up my exams even the tiniest little bit. I have so mych shit to do and I can't handle it all I just want to give up, but I'm hanging in there somehow. My parents won't stop talking about how skinny I am and it's just irritating. It's weird how all my diseases have grown into me so strongly that they've eaten up everything else. I refuse to think that there's anything abnormal about me and what I'm doing isn't normal. It's a routine and even though I know, deep deep down, that I'm not okay, I hate it when other people think it's okay to comment on the way I live or what I'm doing wrong. I feed on the negative stuff that comes up to me cause inside, there's nothing positive left. No place for the good stuff to go, so it bounces off me. I live in a bubble, and it's made for

 one. 

 

S

p.s. So sorry for neglecting you guys <3